Goodbye y'all

This is the last post for houseofrappleye.blogspot.com

All I have to say is "It's been fun. But a new dawn has come"

Hope for the hopeless

Stitch in your knitted brow
And you don't know how
You're gonna get it out
Crushed under heavy chest
Trying to catch your breath
But it always beats you by a step, all right now

Making the best of it
Playing the hand you get
You're not alone in this

There's hope for the hopeless

Cold in a summer breeze
Yeah, you're shivering
On your bended knee
Still, when you're heart is sore
And the heavens pour
Like a willow bending with the storm, you'll make it

Running against the wind
Playing the cards you get
Something is bound to give

There's hope for the hopeless

Sesame Street Grief

Grab your Dictionary.... its time for word of the day!!!!

Monday:
douche bag
a wretched and disgusting person. (Rude and derogatory.) : Don't be a douche bag. Pick up your things and go home, Chuck.

Tuesday:
Abandonment
The act of surrendering a claim to, or interest in, a particular asset.

Wednesday:
Coward
a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.

Thursday:
Empty
destitute of some quality or qualities; devoid (usually fol. by of ): Theirs is a life now empty of happiness.

Friday:
Rebound
to bound or spring back from force of impact.

Join us next time for more word fun!!!

Portrait of an ESTP - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

The Doer

As an ESTP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things rationally and logically.
ESTPs are outgoing, straight-shooting types. Enthusiastic and excitable, ESTPs are "doers" who live in the world of action. Blunt, straight-forward risk-takers, they are willing to plunge right into things and get their hands dirty. They live in the here-and-now, and place little importance on introspection or theory. The look at the facts of a situation, quickly decide what should be done, execute the action, and move on to the next thing.
ESTPs have an uncanny ability to perceive people's attitudes and motivations. They pick up on little cues which go completely unnoticed by most other types, such as facial expressions and stance. They're typically a couple of steps ahead of the person they're interacting with. ESTPs use this ability to get what they want out of a situation. Rules and laws are seen as guidelines for behavior, rather than mandates. If the ESTP has decided that something needs to be done, then their "do it and get on with it" attitude takes precendence over the rules. However, the ESTP tends to have their own strong belief in what's right and what's wrong, and will doggedly stick to their principles. The Rules of the Establishment may hold little value to the ESTP, but their own integrity mandates that they will not under any circumstances do something which they feel to be wrong.
ESTPs have a strong flair for drama and style. They're fast-moving, fast-talking people who have an appreciation for the finer things in life. They may be gamblers or spendthrifts. They're usually very good at story telling and improvising. They typically makes things up as they go along, rather than following a plan. They love to have fun, and are fun people to be around. They can sometimes be hurtful to others without being aware of it, as they generally do not know and may not care about the effect their words have on others. It's not that they don't care about people, it's that their decision-making process does not involve taking people's feelings into account. They make decisions based on facts and logic.
ESTP's least developed area is their intuitive side. They are impatient with theory, and see little use for it in their quest to "get things done". An ESTP will occasionally have strong intuitions which are often way off-base, but sometimes very lucid and positive. The ESTP does not trust their instincts, and is suspicious of other people's intuition as well.
The ESTP often has trouble in school, especially higher education which moves into realms where theory is more important. The ESTP gets bored with classes in which they feel they gain no useful material which can be used to get things done. The ESTP may be brilliantly intelligent, but school will be a difficult chore for them.
The ESTP needs to keep moving, and so does well in careers where he or she is not restricted or confined. ESTPs make extremely good salespersons. They will become stifled and unhappy dealing with routine chores. ESTPs have a natural abundance of energy and enthusiasm, which makes them natural entrepreneurs. They get very excited about things, and have the ability to motivate others to excitement and action. The can sell anyone on any idea. They are action-oriented, and make decisions quickly. All-in-all, they have extraordinary talents for getting things started. They are not usually so good at following through, and might leave those tasks to others. Mastering the art of following through is something which ESTPs should pay special attention to.
ESTPs are practical, observant, fun-loving, spontaneous risk-takers with an excellent ability to quickly improvise an innovative solution to a problem. They're enthusiastic and fun to be with, and are great motivators. If an ESTP recognizes their real talents and operates within those realms, they can accomplish truly exciting things.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Extraverted Sensing
Auxiliary: Introverted Thinking
Tertiary: Extraverted Feeling
Inferior: Introverted Intuition

FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE...

http://www.personalitytype.com/career_quiz

I walked a mile in their moccasins and would like to apologize.

Although I spent the last 5 days in New Mexico, the land of Native American and Mexican history, this blog is not about them.
What I really did is look back and reflect on myself. NM is such a spiritual place, with all the sacred land, holy cathedrals, and sanctuaries. I feel disappointed in myself. I am so used to my world being so small. Just me. Rarely family and friends come and go so quickly I forgot how to be there for people. And now, after living in Salt Lake for over 3 years, I am afraid of losing people I care about, however I realize, I never did anything to keep them around. I am talking about my new family. Made up of in-laws, friends, and co-workers. I am so used to being alone that I don't know how to treat the people that have my back. WWSFAD. What would saint Francis of Assisi do? He would get excited for BBQ's, Birthdays, Reunions, any gathering of friends and family. So I need to put my ADHD aside for a moment.... stop being so anxious.... listen more.... I need to be ok with silence.
The funny thing I always do that I did not notice was hurting me was saying "If they want to tell me something, then they will bring it up in conversation." With all the books I have been reading the week I know how wrong that is. I need to ask more questions.... people don't open themselves up that easy (well I do). I do want to hear about peoples experiences. I love fun interesting stories about childhood. But I NEED to ask more questions. How come they dont teach this stuff in school?
I know I am opinionated and have a strong personality.... instead of calming down to the point where I am a different person.... I need to reserve that energy for the fun party loud nights with friends. The truth is I love everyone.... and I will miss EVERYONE if they leave my life. I guess I need to work on showing it.
I will start my saying thank you..... Thank you for putting up with me and still inviting me to come around. I love my In-laws.... really.... all of them.... they are so different from my family.. sometimes it makes me feel inadequate.... I wish them all the success int he world. And Thank You to a group of friends who took me in although I was the outsider/newbie. Its been years since I had a group of friends that I got so excited to see each weekend. I love their kids and they are amazing examples on parenthood. Thanks for making me break down my wall and camp.

I will leave you with one more thing:
The sense of belonging is a basic need and at the same time the answer to a question. We ask ourselves: What am I part of? And this question resembles- perhaps coincides with- another equally crucial question: Who am I? We belong to a family, a group, a society, a professional category; and the affiliation define us and give us reasons fro existing. Without this belonging, we would feel like nothing.
"The power of forgiveness" Piero Ferrucci

They call me mellow yellow

I could get really personal in this blog and say all that really happened this past week. The worst week of my life thus far. But instead I choose to share what I have learned about myself, life, and people. Which in turn is completely related to this past weeks events.
Yesterday I read for 6 1/2 hours. I completed from beginning to end a book called "The Color Code" first. In this book it has you complete a 50 question survey, then classifies you into a personality color group. I am Yellow. Anyone who has read this book knows what that means and is probably saying to yourselves "yes, Rena, you are yellow". No personality color is BETTER than the other. That is the important thing to remember. This book teaches you how to identify others peoples color groups so you know how to act and react towards them.. It helps explain why people do what they do. Their flaws and their strengths. Spencer is a White, the Peacekeeper. An introvert. A lone wolf. The one who prefers to watch the big crown rather than to join in. Audrey (Spencer’s mom) told me a storey on Wednesday about Spencer. When he was about 10 years old he came home from school and was greeted by his mother. She asked "What did you do today at recess?" His reply "Nothing. I just sit on the wall and watch the other kids play."
Now keep in mind.... we NEED all the color personalities to make this world work. For every White we need a Red. Red are the money driven, CEO wannabe, power hungry folk that start the large multi-million companies. White does not need all that, they just want to have peace and gain knowledge. Yellows don’t desire power or wealth either. Yellows want excitement, fun, bright lights and lots of color. They are the loud mouth chatterboxes who hate being too serious and often are perceived as vain. If fact they love people, all kinds of people, of all ages. Yellows don’t talk because they like to hear themselves talk, they talk because 'like a child' everything is interesting in them. Yellows can live almost anywhere, and they usually try. Its true, yellows talk too much and they cant sit still, but they are the motivators. They provide much needed humor and encouragement in the world.

Now that I know I am a yellow. How can I change my abrasive, loud mouth, talkative ways? One word… Kindness.
Here are some quotes that might be useful to all the other yellows out there:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” How to win friends and influence people

“When I first decided to serve others, I didn’t realize it meant forgiving them.” The Code

“We are most effective in understanding other people when we see them whole - treating them as complete personalities rather than focusing on either their strengths or limitations.” The Color Code

Why does 26 feel so old?

2002

I was tagged in a photo on facebook the other day. I photo during my first year of College at the ripe age of 18. I remember that girl; so full of life and filled with hope. The life of the party and the shoulder to cry on. She loved fashion and spent most afternoons in LA's fashion district. She could party all night and be on the dance floor until 5am. Her friends were from around the world and had culture and traditions to teach her. Everyday was an adventure. Everyday was a party. She was invincible.... or so she thought.... she is dead now... ina sense. What happened to me? Well I grew up. They say you gain 1 pound of fat each year after the age of 20. Well I thought I was special, because me weight was not increasing.... then I turned age 23.... 3 pounds..... age 24....... 9 pounds..... age 25...... 3 more pounds..... WTF. And now as I try to deny my rapidly arriving birthday I will not step on a scale. Its not that my weight gain scares me.... who cares.... I still think I look good.... I am just fed up with buying new jeans. My sizes keep changing and its pissing me off. And for all the people rolling their eyes saying "that's not allot of weight, stop complaining." I would like to show you the long trail of stretch marks down the side of my thighs and bum, then hear you say "its no big deal", ya that's right... stretch marks! They must have been created by the devil, cause no God of mine would mark my body with humiliating lines as a reminder of my increasing age and size.
On the other hand.... I have also gained a husband.... a bigger family.... a new appreciation for the outdoors.... a love of my curly hair.... and much more. And with all that... I except my new body, I except my gray hairs and striped legs. Now if I could only find some stretch jeans.

2010

Life or something like it

Project SLUG was moving along faster than expected.... until I hit road block called the IRS that works ar a slug pace (ironicaly). What I have noticed is people dont take you seriously when you say you want to start a non-profit. Everyone (family & friends) think you will either give up or fail. Guess what..... I am not BullShiting you! I wan to do this. I want to make the community better. I want to get out of the corporate world. And I AM really doing it. We do need vomlunteers. If you would like to help let me know. We will be having our first meeting to include volunteers in a few weeks. This summer is all about fundraising.... we need to get prepared... get that bank account up. Let me know if you want to help.

The Summer of 2009 was full of adventure and exploration. 2010 will be even better. More camping, More hiking, More fishing, plus added Mountain Biking! We bought a new tent, large enough to house our queen size air bed and 2 bikes... with room to spare. I have already been looking at our Utah map and finding lakes and rivers I want to discover. I am excited

This last picture serves no purpose and has no relation to my life. However it makes me laugh.

WTF US Gov - What decade are we in?

So what is a negro exactly? According to the dictionary....

Ne·gro   
1. Anthropology . a member of the peoples traditionally classified as the Negro race, esp. those who originate in sub-Saharan Africa: no longer in technical use.
–adjective
2. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of one of the traditional racial divisions of humankind, generally marked by brown to black skin pigmentation, dark eyes, and woolly or crisp hair and including esp. the indigenous peoples of Africa south of the Sahara.
3. being a member of the black peoples of humankind, esp. those who originate in sub-Saharan Africa.

So why are people (like myself) upset by this absurd question on the 2010 Census.... because it is bullshit. Tell me right now... what is the difference between Black, African American and Negro? What would a Dominican Republican choose? Or a Brazilian?
Oh and I like how they give 'Asian Indian' as an option and then say 'Asian Other'.... I like that other can be everything else in that huge continent. When I received my census form I refused to check a box, and instead wrote a friendly note stating "I am not a box, I am not one race. I am multiracial and wont to be recognized as so. I am Jamaican and I am Italian. I am Both equally". One week later I received another Census form, apparently the didn't like my answer. I wrote "F this" on it and mailed it back blank.

Its not that I am against the idea of the census... I support the cause. I just don't agree with the wording of the question. If I was in charge of the Census I would ask 3 questions:
1. How many people in your household?
2. Annual household income.
3. Are you a natural born citizen or did you immigrate here? If a immigrant, what country did you immigrate from _______?

I think where you were born is more important than what the color of your skin is. After all...

When I born, I Black...
When I grow up, I Black...
When I go in Sun, I Black...
When I scared, I Black..
When I sick, I Black..
And when I die,I still black...

And you White fellow..
When you born, you pink..
When you grow up, you White...
When you go in Sun, you Red..
When you cold, you blue...
When you scared, you yellow..
When you sick, you Green...
And when you die, you Gray...
And you call me colored??

Summer Here I Come!

I got my Mountain Bike yesterday!

I cant wait to take it out on the trails.


Its a Diamondback Lustre 1 ( I dunno if that means anything, but I like it).

Isn't she beautiful.

New Blog

slcfashion.blogspot.com

Please follow my new blog.

I feel like I need to get back to what I know. Its relaxing and fun for me.
So I created a new blog about the fashion industry in Utah (or lack there of).

I promise not to over-post.

Thanks Rena

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

Life Update:

Work has been going great. Very busy. The weather has been beautiful. I am ready for an action packed summer. I even came up with a fun summer goal. Maybe I have been watching too much Lost, but I really want to be able to track people/animals in the wild. Doesnt that sound like a great skill to have. I can help find lost children or finally see a moose. Maybe I will be the one who finds Susan Powells body and help solve the case. I wish my life were a blend of CSI vegas and Lost.

We leave in a couple of weeks for Austin Texas. 4 days of music, drinks, dancing, and sunny weather. Oh and Texas BBQ of course! I am so excited. I have no desire to see anywhere else in Texas. Spencer is all the cowboy and country music I need, but I do want to see Austin. Who knows I might come back with a new Tattoo.

When we get back from Texas I have one thing on my Agenda... "Get A Mountain Bike"!!!!!

Nothing too Fancy. But something to get me outside in the sun and keep me in shape.

Lets go ride!

Today is St. Patricks Day. I wore a Ireland flag pin that Rachel got me when she went to Dublin. And I plan on celebrating with a beer cocktail I saw on TV this morning. Presenting the Guiness Float

Wanna Try?

"Fuck Lent" he said

I was raised by an amazing women. She was a devote Catholic throughout adolescence and attended mass regularly. As she matured and went to college she stopped going to mass to explore other religious ventures. Christian revivals in people backyards with lots of song and dance. Or even other ways to become more spiritual: Thai Chi in the park, Drum circles, art classes, yoga, etc. In her 30's she found herself becoming a mother and wanted something to pass on to her children. So the taught them respect and reverence by taking them to Catholic mass. They learned at a early age about sacrifice, chastity, and confessing your sins.
Being one of her children raised with the privilege to see many different forms of spirituality I am comfortable to create my own level of religion and peace. I do not go to mass, but I still remember kneeling in prayer beside my mother and brother. I do not go to confession, but I do feel the need to speak my sins aloud to cleanse my guilty heart. One thing I do, every year, since I was just a child, is celebrate Lent. I like knowing I can still sacrifice something I put value on but maybe don't appreciate for 40 days and 40 nights. Its the least I can do. Really giving up coffee for Lent is the least I could do. But I enjoy Lent. It reminds me to be grateful of all the little things. So when I say "No I cant drink that, I gave coffee up for Lent." and you reply "Fuck Lent." you might as well be saying " Fuck you, fuck everything you hold dear, fuck tradition, fuck your family, and fuck anything I don't understand."
In conclusion: I am happy with who I am and what I believe. I am at peace with my religious stance and am not worried where my soul will end up. Are you? Or do you claim a religion to your family and not to your friends? Fuck that. Fuck being fake to please others. I am who I am and dammit I am stubborn.

Tempted by the fruit of another

Dear food,

I thought we were doing so great.

We didn't have to sneak around anymore.

But every time life is good you turn on me.

Its like I don't know you anymore.

You don't comfort me anymore.

You push me away.

You cause me pain.

STOP!

Stop tempting me with your mouth watering aromas.

Stop being so interesting and foreign.

You are not good for me.

I need to reevaluate our relationship.

I may not be able to rid you from my life for good,

But things will never be the same between us.

GOODBYE!

Take your spices, fried food, and tomatoes.

I will replace you.

You have burned me for the last time.

Goodbye my tempter.

Goodbye my secret lover.

Today I choose love and turn from pain.

From,

Rena's Stomach

"You are just like your mother"

"You are just like your mother" Spencer said after a day with my folks.


"Thanks" I repied.


This goofey fun loving liberal woman who gave me life (and a fun one too) never looses her humor and heart. Forget 'Mothers day', there should me 'Rhonda Rupe Day'.





When I grow up I want to be just like her. Except taller and black lol.






I feel like I should write more. But the truth is nothing iis really going on. Christmas came and went (yay). Spencer and I were both spoiled. Spencer got a Mountain Bike, Fly Rod, Ipod, etc. I got a Jewelry Box, Tickets to see Avenue Q, Snow Gloves, 4 Computer Games, etc. Christmas Eve we played Beatles RockBand and stayed over at Paul and Audrey's House.

New Years Eve was the worst day at work I have ever experienced. People were so rude. I got cursed at by 3 complete strangers, You might be wondering what I did to deserve it, well one guy was angry he could not be upgraded to a suite for free, one guy thought he booked a ski package and deserved free passes when he was paying $56 (the ski passes are $58 each and the package is about $203 a night. So for those of you who dont travel often and search online for the cheapest rate and expect to be rewarded for it..... I have a message to you:

To those who book on Priceline, Hotwire, or Expedia and are paying $40 for a room.

No you can not have a free breakfast.

No you can not have free parking.

You will get the room you are assigned, go ahead and complain.

We dont face the Temple, so if you want a view go stand outside.

Guess what! If we sell out I will kick you out first!

New Years Eve is a busy day for hotels, if you stay here dont complain about noise, its f*@#ing New Years Eve... it will be loud EVERYWHERE.

Happy Traveling you cheap scum.

Thanks for bearing with me while I rant. Its been a hard week. I am so excited for all of the adventures this Spring/Summer I cant wait until the snow melts.

Ok I have to get back to work.